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Friday, April 15, 2011
insomnia
my mind is goin crazy.. I know I should be happy. I love my life and everyone in it.. but somehow my thoughts and feelings spin out of control..and whirl me into sadness. will it get better when she returns?? I hope so but I make myself no guarantees. u make promises to yourself u set yourself up for disappointments, and nobody likes disappointment. I try to put on a good face for everyone. do they see right through me? am I transparent as glass but to clouded to realize?
love is complicated polyamory is honest
Me and my husband recently changed everything by letting her into our marriage. I love the excitement and the different aspects of the relationships.the 3 of us make each other so happy. but tonight..for the first time
since this began.. I was in his phone when I saw it "I'm in love with u,but don't tell her yet". there was a lot of things in there that in a normal marriage would be completely inappropriate.. but being that we are in an honest 3 way relationship they didn't upset me at all.. but the words "dont tell her" made me wanna vomet. he stated "I'm so In love with u" In those texts.. when I asked him if he was in love with her I was told maybe a lil. . I'm totally ok with him being in love with her.. But those words "don't tell her" keep haunting me. so I talked to him. at first he got defensive.. then it was i don't love her I'm over it.. and when it came down to it.. he was nervous to tell his wife he was in love with another woman. we are new to this "lifestyle" and I understand his apprehension but honesty is key in any relationship, but especially in abnormal circumstances. so I've come to the conclusion there are bound to be bumps in the road, but if this is how its suppose to be it will all work out.
since this began.. I was in his phone when I saw it "I'm in love with u,but don't tell her yet". there was a lot of things in there that in a normal marriage would be completely inappropriate.. but being that we are in an honest 3 way relationship they didn't upset me at all.. but the words "dont tell her" made me wanna vomet. he stated "I'm so In love with u" In those texts.. when I asked him if he was in love with her I was told maybe a lil. . I'm totally ok with him being in love with her.. But those words "don't tell her" keep haunting me. so I talked to him. at first he got defensive.. then it was i don't love her I'm over it.. and when it came down to it.. he was nervous to tell his wife he was in love with another woman. we are new to this "lifestyle" and I understand his apprehension but honesty is key in any relationship, but especially in abnormal circumstances. so I've come to the conclusion there are bound to be bumps in the road, but if this is how its suppose to be it will all work out.
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